Blood of the Dragon

So since starting this blog, I feel like I had often had to defend women, especially women in athletics in some way. For example, around the Olympics I wrote the post about how women were being covered in the media. I have also blogged about a man who laughed at me when I told him I was trying to purchase BCAA's at GNC. I have blogged about being yelled at from men out of car windows as I was running. I've heard everything from "Run faster you fat, fluffy bitch" to "Look at your boobs bounce!" Yes, I wish I was kidding. I have blogged about a woman I follow Run, Selfie, Repeat being told she should care more about losing weight and stop using it as a crutch in an email from a stranger.

Now, a coach from my team has been called out for an outfit she wore to complete a half marathon.

The picture above is Laurah Lukin who actually won second place in this half marathon. After these comments were deleted, the man continued to comment on other pictures, then posted about the situation on his Facebook saying that just because women were offended didn't mean they were right. Please read Laurah's blog here to learn about here reaction. 

I don't want to spend time hating on this guy, because he is frankly not worth the time. 

The thing is, it's easy to tell each other to ignore it. It's easy to tell our fellow women to let the comments roll off their back. However, the truth is that these comments hurt and put us on edge. When men yell at me from their cars, I start doubting myself in my own head. It's hard to focus on running because I am instead focusing on myself and how I am being perceived. I also get nervous and find myself looking over my shoulder to make sure the car has left. The problem is not with women, the problem is with how our society views women.  This is why I will continue to post blogs like this. This is why I will continue to be a Girls on the Run Coach, which works to teach girls self esteem and confidence. This is why I will continue to post photos of myself after a long run or a hard workout. 

The other news about our society, that just so happens to be good, is that women seem to be stronger than ever. I know so many amazing women that are out there every day kicking ass and continuing to push themselves every day. These women are strong and beautiful. The job of changing the conversation is in our hands. The job of ending sexism is in our hands. 

If you are a woman who kicks ass, continue to put yourself out there no matter who tries to stand in your way. Focus on your inner strength and outer strength. Focus on all you have done to get where you are now.

You are strong.

Hold that thought close to you knowing that nobody can take it away. 

You are strong. 

“I am the blood of the dragon. I must be strong. I must have fire in my eyes when I face them.” 

― George R.R. Martin, A Storm of Swords

A Half Time That Scares Me

I've been gone for awhile now from the blog world, and every off season I think I'm finished with the blog. Then when the season starts, I end up having a lot on my mind and thinking that I should share with people the craziness that my brain goes through when I'm training.

First off, I'm in a new running group through Beyond Exercise. When our fearless leader, Rick, decided to leave our old group an start a brand new venture, many of us followed him. So although I'm with a new group, a lot of the people are the same and I'm enjoying the more social aspect that a small business brings to the table. Today we even had a party with beer, mimosas, chocolate milk, bagels, music, and shopping!

Second, I'm training for my 4th half marathon. Half marathons have actually become something that seem fun to me, but then I had to go and ruin it by trying to push my pace. In the fall, I will attempt to run a 2 hour half marathon. This means my pace will have to be a consistent 9:09 per mile. That is crazy fast for me! At the moment, I honestly can't remember the pace of my first three half marathons. I know they have to be somewhere on this blog. I want to say my first was in the 2:40 range. Something I do know is that I have gotten consistently faster with each race, making my fastest half marathon 2 hours and 8 minutes. So I know that 8 minutes may not seem like a lot to shave off, but running that pace was very challenging for me. That to me means I had already shaved off at least 30 minutes from previous races. It was honestly a surprise that I was able to finish it in that time. I know I've said before multiple times that I want to challenge myself, but as the season started, my runs were complete garbage trash. I now think I need to give myself more credit and realize that the heat and humidity play a huge role in this, but at the time we started I was becoming very discouraged. I was getting out of breath quickly and felt like I couldn't keep up. I was always falling back and then doubting my abilities. The good news is, my past 2 runs have felt much more doable. Hmmmm....and it has been slightly cooler and less humid!

This season I want to try and keep my confidence up whether the runs are good or bad. I want to not be afraid of the 2:00 half marathon, but instead try and conquer it head on. For those of you along for the journey, I'll try not to say the same story I've said for the past year, but in reality it will probably be a series of whines and triumphs as usual!

A Post I Wanted To Write A Long Time Ago

Okay, so call me superstitious but I was too worried about talking about the health benefits of working out, to actually write about the health benefits of working out. I thought I would immediately get injured during training season, because that's how this works and all. So now that I'm in between training seasons, it's something I wanted to post about.

When I started working out, I received a lot of positive feedback. Many people were complimenting me and saying "good for you." As the working out became something I really enjoyed and became more intense, some-not all people, began questioning me. Here are some examples of comments I felt like I heard regularly:

• Running is so bad for your knees. Are you sure you want to keep doing that?
• I can't believe you are lifting so much weight. You are going to hurt your back
• I'm worried about you running that much tomorrow
• I can't believe you get up so early to work out. You're going to be so tired all the time.
• I've heard running a marathon is really bad for your body.

I didn't have many issues with these things. In fact, the people I'm surrounded by haven't had many issues with these things and some of them have been running or exercising for 20+ years. Sure, there are injuries, and I have seen plenty of those. I even twisted my ankle one season and pushed too hard on it, ending up with more forced rest than I wanted. However, the health benefits I've experienced are far greater than the risk of injury:

• I lost 50 pounds- lowered risk for all kinds of diseases including heart disease and diabetes.
• I no longer have high blood pressure when I go to the doctor's office.
• I just had a biometric screening performed, and I was at low risk in every single category (except BMI.) This screening included cholesterol, blood glucose levels, and several other categories.
• I have had a reduced rate of illnesses and less headaches.
• Guess what? Working out at 5:30 a.m. actually makes me LESS sleepy!
• I am so incredibly less stressed out and overall more positive. 

I've had knee pain before and foot pain and leg soreness and I very well may lose a black toenail I have right now, but being on a regular exercise routine is more rewarding and has more BENEFITS than I could ever have imagined when I started. 

I feel that in some ways our society has some of this backwards. I totally believe in self confidence and positive body image being important. However, when I was 50 pounds heavier and I was not working out at all and eating dinner out or at fast food restaurants regularly, nobody expressed concern for my health. I really try and inspire people to work out because of the difference it has made in my mental and physical health. Sitting on the couch doing nothing was the most detrimental thing I was doing to my own health and wellness. I do try to push myself to the next level in several activities. I like the competition and challenge of doing these things. I follow training guidelines though and try to stay smart about lifting weights, running, stretching, and resting. I think we are hurting ourselves by putting exercise on the back burner. Making exercise a priority can change your life. Maybe that's exactly what makes it's so hard to do. Change is hard and there is always a chance that we will fail or in this case even get hurt, but I don't think that's a reason to hold back from the opportunities that are out there.

The Finish Swine

It all seems like a blur. What a cliche right? But I seriously cannot believe it's all over. Most importantly, I still can't believe I accomplished something that less than 1% of the population has accomplished. So much time, effort, training, lack of sleep, sweat, and pain was poured into this season. The time leading up to the race I was only thinking about everything and anything that could go wrong. I wasn't thinking about what could go right. I can be a doomsdayer.

First off, my pace pleased me though the majority of the race. My 6.8 pace was 10:54. My half pace was 10:48. My 19.7 pace was 10:56. My goal was to stay under 11 (finishing in a 4:45) and at that point, I had still done a great job. Unfortunately, I began to get super fatigued during the last 6 miles and my legs felt like lead, but let's start at the beginning.

Race day came and the weather was great for running. High 30's with no rain. I especially get very hot on runs, so I was really happy about the cooler temperatures. I had a weird sense of calm before I started. It seemed like I just calmed myself down and began to accept whatever at that point. Around 3 miles, my parents and my sisters were waiting in Newport with their kids. It's always exciting to see them, especially since the kids get so excited and are all holding up signs. It's a great way to start the race off and gives me motivation to stay strong.

After that, everything really kept going according to plan. I was running with a friend, but at Gilbert we got separated. I like to charge up hills pretty powerfully and stay in my zone. I just want to get it over with! On the large hill section, I passed some of my extended family and also a family from my school. It was a nice surprise and good to see familiar faces.

At the half marathon split, I still felt great! I wasn't even disappointed to see the halfers leaving, which I thought would be super tough mentally. I ran into another friend from my running group. It was nice to chat with her for a little bit because at this point the crowd had thinned out. It was a little tough thinking nobody else was waiting for me. We got a great downhill, and then I got a text from T.J. saying that he was at mile 15. This was so comforting.

Okay 2 more miles to T.J. and my parents.... I got to see them twice because they were at a turnaround spot and T.J. jumped in and ran with me for a bit just to make conversation, which was nice. After seeing them, I knew my coworker and her 2 boys were waiting at mile 17 so in my mind it was okay... 1 more mile to Kelly. After Kelly was a stretch from hell on Columbia Parkway. It was mostly highway and there was barely any crowd support. This was 18-20 and it was here that the 4:45 pacer passed me and I couldn't keep up. I felt a bit of disappointment and then, I just stopped caring and started thinking about crossing the finish line.

In my head I started thinking about Lindsey waiting for me at mile 20. When I saw Lindsey at mile 20 I was exhausted and thrilled to see her. My stomach had been weird during the run, as in I was worried I was going to poop my pants a few times. I only had eaten 2 of my nutrition packs because I was too nervous about my stomach reacting poorly. My plan was to have had 4 by mile 20. I think maybe I wouldn't have been so exhausted had I been able to stick to my nutrition plan. Anyways, Lindsey kept me going by running with me and telling me things to look out for that I would have been totally oblivious too. I'm glad she pointed them out to me, although I don't know if I can recall them all. My mother in law and father in law were at mile 21 cheering loudly for me. More friendly faces to help me reach my goal. At mile 22 Lori switched off with Lindsey.

One of the best moments of the race happened at mile 22. As exhausted as I was, I really wanted to try a "layup for Lauren." I got the small basketball and totally side armed the ball up there but it went in. I remember celebrating that moment and seeing the sign in the background that said "Never Give Up." Even now as I type that, it brings some tears to my eyes. Thank you Lauren Hill for inspiring me at mile 22. Lori was equally as great as Lindsey. My music stopped and Lori even played music on her phone out loud to keep me pumped up. At this point, 1 mile felt like 10 and every hill felt like Gilbert, but with Lori's encouragement I kept going. Lori and Lindsey are both coworkers and friends by the way, but seriously who else gets coworkers that are that amazing?

I made it to mile 24 and Lori switched off with my friend Tara from my very first running group. I have to admit, that seeing her was a little sweeter because I knew it was my last running buddy and then I would be crossing the finish line. Maggie jumped in with us at 25 and I asked Tara to tell me stories along the way.  Having them with me was great because we used to run together all the time and it was my very favorite running group. The "Monstars" helped me develop my passion for running. At this point my breathing was heavy and I was purely exhausted, but I remember them telling me I could cross the finish line. I remember them telling me to keep breathing. I remember them lying to me about "coasting to the finish line" when I really had 2 more hills.

After they jumped out, it was me and the finish line. I passed my friend Liz's mom and sister, who had a very recognizable sign at several places on the course that was such a welcome vision once again. I saw my parents and T.J.'s parents with T.J, holding up signs for me. I saw my friends Mallory, Brian, Tara, and Bessler. I saw my brother with his family and my niece and nephew waving at me. I couldn't help but smile. I was beaten down, I was ready for this to be over, but I felt such pure happiness. I crossed the finish line and felt pure relief. My time-4:55, 10  minutes behind my "ultimate goal" but still under 5 hours, my "secondary goal" and still doing it the whole time without walking, my "third goal."

The point here is truly said best in the words of Lauren Hill, Never Give Up. It was through not giving up on myself and not giving into my negative thoughts, that I completed something that seemed so unreachable at one point. It's so crazy because your mind will only prepare you for what you set out to do. When I set out to do half marathons, I'm tired at the end. At a full marathon, I felt great and alive at mile 13. Put it in your mind to accomplish something and don't let go of the goal until you get there.

I think the next lesson to be learned here is to lean on the support of others. I am truly humbled by all of the kind words I received, and especially by everyone that showed up at some point on the course to cheer for me. This is what got me through. If I was out on that course completely alone, I truly think the result would have been much different. Sometimes you have to use the strength of others to bring you up, and that is what I did on Sunday. The cheers, the smiling faces, the posters, the text messages, all brought me up and kept me putting one foot in front of the other. It really did mean the world to me.

A chapter has closed. The sweat is gone, the hard work is over. All that is left now is the t-shirts, the car magnet, the photographs, the medal, and of course, the sweet memories. As I look back on this marathon I think the most memorable thing will always be the people. To those of you who were there for me in some form during those 5 hours, I thank you very sincerely. No matter what I complete the the future, May 7, 2017 will always hold a uniquely special place in my heart.

To the people who have asked, totally worth it, and I totally would do another one!

Less Than 24 Hours

Yesterday I went to the expo and I honestly got really excited. It's a neat experience and there's just a buzz of excitement in the air. I was pumped seeing all of the Flying Pig gear. I bought 2 shirts and a hat, plus got a first time marathoner shirt and bib. Looking back on it, I wish I would have bought more. When I finish this thing, maybe I can reward myself with all the goodies!

Today I helped out with some students from my school who were participating in the Flying Pig 5K and 26th Mile. One of my students actually asked me to run the 26th mile with her and while I wasn't planning on doing any running today, I had fun watching crossing the finish line with some awesome fifth graders.

As I'm getting everything ready today, it's hard not to at least be a little bit scared. The truth is, I'm most afraid of failing myself. I have goals in mind that I want to accomplish and when you work towards something for a long time and pour yourself into it, it's hard to imagine what it will feel like to not accomplish those goals. It's hard to think about what will happen if you disappoint yourself. Something that has really made a difference to me, and has helped me to believe in myself more, is all of the people who have reached out to me to wish me good luck. I know that literally everyone and their brother knows I'm running the full marathon. I realize that at points I've become downright annoying with posting and talking about it. Even though this may have been the case, I have had text messages, facebook messages, in person messages, cards, cookies, a mug all to send me good wishes. A lot of people have told me that they're inspired by me. This is absolutely mind blowing to me when I think about where I have come from. I really do want to inspire people because at one point in time there was no part of me that thought I would be interested in running. Tomorrow I'm getting ready to take on 26 miles. I can't really predict how this will go, but I promise I will give it my all.  I promise to do whatever is in my power to keep pushing. I promise not to give up on myself.

One Week Till Race Day

There's a lot of excitement building around The Flying Pig Marathon and rightfully so. It's such a fun weekend in Cincinnati with events that celebrate our great city. The Flying Pig is a quirky race with a ton of crowd support and throughout the weekend they have events that really appeal to all ages, ability levels, and interests. I really do get giddy around this time.

However the weight of knowing I'm running a full marathon contributes to some serious terror. I won't let this put a damper on the excitement of the week, but I am nervous. There are times when the thought pops into my mind about what I'm going to endure and my stomach drops. The mind is such a powerful thing and sometimes it's hard to get that in the right place.

I thought I would state some of my goals around the race. I didn't want to do this at first but I felt like I was copping out by not sharing my goals. These are the goals I want to meet and sharing them will help hold me accountable, whether I succeed or not. I want to finish the race between 4:45-5:00 hours. In order to do 4:45 I have to maintain a 10:53 pace. Studies show that marathoners slow down by 20% in the second half of the race, so this is something I'm going to have to consider when starting out. I would also like to complete the race without walking. There is absolutely nothing wrong with walking, and I know that people train to walk or do intervals all the time. I think nothing less of them. For me personally, I have just been training to run the marathon so I want to meet that goal.

Each day as the race approaches, I know I am taking on something that will challenge me mentally and physically. The hardships that I will encounter aren't lost on me. I know that miles 20-26 will be almost unbearable because I have never endured that mileage before and that my body will be close to shutting down by that point. I know that believing in myself will get me far and I hope that I can keep my mental state together, even when pushing through pain, soreness, heat, or whatever I might face. My legs will only hurt so much. My breathing will only get so heavy, my exhaustion level will only get so high. I can persevere. I can endure. I can. I can. I can.

Confidence

Last week we had a 20 mile run and it was not my best performance. It started out raining, we even got poured on briefly, then the sun came out and it ended up being super hot. The race was the "last long run" and all of the training groups got together for a race supported by water stops and even members of the flying pig staff, which was fun. However, I got in 45 minutes before the cutoff (struggling I might add) and everything was already torn down. This kind of upset me because I think it's rude to tear down before runners finish, especially when we didn't even get to the cutoff time. I only got a bottle of water because our running group snagged a case before the sponsors left. So after last week's race, I felt slightly discouraged and especially slow since I felt like I was coming in last place.

Today we had a 15 mile run. I started out pretty quickly with a sub 11 minute mile. I knew the route was going to be hilly and we ran up Gilbert, which is the largest hill in the marathon. I wanted to really nail this route because I knew it would be a part of the race where I might struggle. I found myself staying away from the negative thoughts and staying calm and controlled while doing the course. Even when I came to another hill, I pushed the negative thoughts away and just tried to stay confident. It really worked! Even other runners from my group were complimenting me, which only increased my confidence. It's like sometimes you need people to pat you on the back because you can't possibly believe that you are killing it.

I think that confidence is a weird sort of thing because staying in that mindset can really propel you forward. Not having confidence can really propel you backwards. There's always a chance that something bad can happen on race day but if I focus on that, it's only going to weigh me down. Having a good run today really helped my confidence and I hope that I can stay this confident for race day. We have one more Saturday run, which will be 10 miles and I hope that it goes well for me so I can continue to feel like I can be successful in a marathon. It's getting so close to race day that my anxieties are continuing to rise and are getting harder to shut out. If I can rest assured in anything, it's that this has been a wonderful journey. Every run, good or bad has led me to the spot that I'm in now and it's a place where I never thought I would be. While I've always heard the journey is the reward, and while I believe that's true, a shiny gold medal would be nice!

Went into a liquor store today and someone was selling these shirts. It was a sign!

Body Image

I've accomplished some pretty cool milestones since my last post. 16 miles and 18 miles both flew by and surprisingly went better than I thought. I'm nervous about an upcoming 20 miler this weekend, but still looking forward to it. Alas, this is not what I want to talk about today. My topic is a little more serious-body image.

I went to the beach this week and to other people's surprise, and honestly to my own, I posted pictures of myself in a bathing suit. Showing any skin for me is usually completely uncomfortable, but this year I felt mildly confident in my bathing suit. I also wanted to make up for the photos that had been posted 2 years ago (against my will) of me on the beach. Being able to take a picture of myself in a bathing suit and feel comfortable enough to put that online is weird for me, but I do feel like my body is something that I've worked hard on and something I need to take more pride in. So why is it so hard to take pride in my body?

2017

2015

I've thought about this post for a long time because somewhere in time the words "fit" and "skinny" became synonyms and I'm just tired of feeling like I'm not fit enough or like people don't see me as fit because I'm not thin. When I tell people about my physical activity or my goals with running or lifting weights, people act surprised. I could be making this all up in my head but I feel like people are thinking, "Can she really do that? She doesn't look like she's in shape." I'm tired of this stereotype and I'm also tired of how this stereotype makes me see myself. I came home and shamed myself for eating ice cream on vacation and drinking so much. Why didn't I praise myself for running 14 miles and biking 7 miles while on vacation? I have to work on how I see myself, This is something I definitely realize, but I think we also need to work on how society views humans who are in shape. I don't look like a typical runner or weight lifter, but that doesn't automatically mean I don't work hard. I know people who are much thinner than I am, but literally never partake in any physical activity. What's funny is if that person told you tomorrow they were running a marathon, you might not be surprised because in looking at them you assume they are fit. 

I'm a woman who has a BMI at the overweight level, I'm also a woman who has completed 3 half marathons in one year and is working my ass off at training for 26.2. I'm a woman who wears a size 10, and can dead lift 315 pounds. I'm a woman who eats junk food and wakes up at 5:00 four times a week for my first workout of the day. I'm a woman who is running 20 miles this weekend, a woman who has lost 50 pounds, a woman who is goal oriented and works hard to be healthy. 

Fit doesn't look a certain way. Fit can look many ways. We all need to stop shaming ourselves and each other and encourage. Let's focus on what our bodies can do. Let's change our mindsets about what fit has to look like. Let's keep sharing the stories of ourselves and others who are being successful.

Nope, still not skinny,

Lauren

Thick Skin and an Elastic Heart

SOO this weekend something pretty cool happened, but in order to appreciate it I feel like you have to know where I came from. Last year, in March, I had a blog post titled "The Hardest Thing I've Ever Done." That whole post ONE SHORT YEAR AGO was about The Heart Mini 15K. A 15K is a little over 9 miles. On Saturday, as part of training for the full marathon, I ran The Heart Mini half marathon. Last year I talked about the course being hard and this year that still held true. The course had many rolling hills, and included Torrence again which literally makes you feel like you are trudging uphill in fudge. In my last post I encouraged my readers to Google Earth the hill. I still recommend that. It's gnarly.

I knew I wanted to PR this race. I've run two half marathons and gotten progressively faster. My last half marathon was in Indianapolis, a completely flat course and I pumped it out 2:26. I really wanted to hit 2:20 or less, but I wasn't able to make it happen. This race was weird in that I wasn't really nervous. I think that had to do with it not being the end goal. The end goal is 26.2 miles, and this is just a way to get there. I made a goal that I wanted to complete the race in 2 hours and 15 minutes so I'd be shaving off 11 minutes, which I thought would be doable but challenging with this hilly of a course. My trainer challenged me to get 2:12, which I thought was impossible. I started off running with the 2:15 pacers. They were great motivators and it was nice to have them giving me the little reminders about shaking out my shoulders, etc. I stayed with them for the first 3 miles and I was feeling pretty good. At some point I got in front of them and decided to keep rolling. When I was in the middle of Torrence (AKA hill from hell) I got a text from my trainer, Megan. I looked down at my watch and saw the word "Fly!!!!!!!" This almost brought tears to my eyes because I was flipping struggling. Liz passed me on the way down and said "Just keep going girl." At this point I was heaving, but I kept my head up. On the ride down, which was a beautiful thing, I made it a point to continually cheer. Every person was fighting so hard to get up the hill and they deserved me saying "You got this," and "You look awesome!"

I started feeling slightly rough around this time and my husband text me saying that my mom and dad were in front of Brio. It was then I felt bad because it was cold outside. In order to get there in a timely manner, I couldn't slow down, I had to keep going. I finally made it to the Taylor Southgate Bridge-another hill, imagine that. I knew my parents were waiting on the other side. I saw them from afar with Liz's parents and I was able to yell "Aren't you even going to cheer me on?" I was happy because at the Pig they saw me feet from the starting line and I know I looked like I was on death's door. This time, I felt happy and still in good shape so I high fived everyone while saying, "I'm going to PR this bitch." Typical me. This left me with only about 3 more miles. This is where I had to kick it up a notch.

I crossed over the Purple People Bridge Back into Cincinnati (mile 11) and I saw the 2:10 pacer. I couldn't believe my eyes so immediately I knew I had to catch up with him. Then I passed him. I knew I had to be close to the finish line but I couldn't see it. I finally rounded the corner (after a hill, duh!) and I saw the sweet finish line. I didn't speed up until I saw T.J. yelling for me. I straight up sprinted across that finish line and saw the numbers 2:10 on the race clock. I knew that I had started after the initial time by about 2 minutes so I was immediately emotional. I hugged T.J. with tears in my eyes. I flew. Maybe not for my age group, maybe not for "race standards" but for me, I flew.

The biggest testament to all of this is that one year ago, I ran 9.3 and said it was the hardest day of my life. However, I said in that blog post that "Fat Lauren" became the girl of the past. How true that is. 9.3 miles was the hardest thing I'd ever done in my life 365 days ago. Fast forward and I'm running 13.1 with an average pace under 10 minutes and feeling strong. I'm so thankful that one year ago I said goodbye to my old self.

Dedication

So I meant to post about the happenings this weekend quite sooner, but the weekend somehow took a very busy turn. I had a great time, maybe a little too much of a great time, but I'm back in action.

Saturday brought Bockfest. When I woke up it was snowing. I can't say I was quite thrilled about this. We had an 11 mile training run to the start of Bockfest where we would complete the 5k. I haven't really run in snow like this before. Although I didn't want to get out of bed and face the cold, I actually found myself having a really good time running in the snow. I will admit to loving snow and there was something very childlike about being outside playing in all the white stuff. Good thing I got in my enjoyment because it was gone by 11:00 and replaced with sunshine and high 50's later that afternoon. Mother Nature is a strange beast in Cincinnati. 

I cut out on my own because I was worried about not getting to Bockfest, but I made it with some time to meet up with my friends who were running it. I was so excited for Abby and Sarah to make their 5K debut. They were nervous when we were approaching the starting line. Abby was shaking and Sarah seemed a little more calm, but they both admitted to having some jitters. Abby had a bad stomach bug on Thursday and Friday but still made it to the race because she had worked so hard. I was proud of her for making this choice.

They both made it through the race like champs. We have been training around our school, which is nowhere near as hilly as the course in Cincinnati. When we got to mile 1, they both said it had felt a lot longer, but they kept going. I know that the finish line seemed far away for them both, but they pushed themselves to make it all the way. They had made a promise to themselves and showed a lot of dedication to cross the finish line.

My husband, T.J. found out he would be running the 5K two nights before the race because someone had dropped out. When I crossed the finish line he was thrilled to tell me that he also was able to run the whole way without stopping. T.J. could have used not training as an excuse, but he kept his pace steady and told himself he could do it. He has been doing small things to improve his overall health and it's really made a big difference. When we did Bockfest last year he had to stop and walk several times.

Be it snow, a stomach bug, under preparedness, or nerves, all of these people showed some serious dedication on Saturday. I hope they all felt some self love when they crossed that finish line, because they achieved something for themselves that not everyone has the will to do.

Also I highly recommend Bockfest because who doesn't love beer? 

Running 13 Miles and Not Getting A Medal

So far this training season, all of my runs have been great. Notice I did not say easy. They have not been easy, but I have felt super strong during the majority of them. Today I really didn't feel that way. We went up in mileage to 13 miles, which is the most I've ever run, being a half marathoner. Yesterday it was 75 degrees in Cincinnati. I was sitting outside with shorts on after school. Today I woke up to a wonderful cold front. It's hard to adjust back to cold temperatures after getting used to spring weather.

I pulled up to Lunken Airport, which is not my favorite route to run in general. I also have to mention that my legs were still extremely sore from my workout on Thursday, which included squatting 115 pounds for 40 reps and then a set that included pulsing lunges and jump squats. So really every muscle in my legs felt tight. When I got out of the car I realized just how windy it was. The first 3 miles I was just not feeling it. With the wind blowing, and being sore,and being at Lunken, which is in my opinion one of the most boring places we run, all I could keep thinking is "this sucks." I had to push those feelings aside because I knew it was a long road ahead. We got to go out into the road, which I typically prefer, but running on Eastern Avenue is not the most scenic route. Well it's actually scenic, but not in the best way... I had to dodge two couches on the sidewalk.

The last 4 miles were tempo, which means we had to speed up. I basically completed these last 4 miles alone since I had gotten ahead of my group and it was the worst part of Lunken. It's literally just a huge stretch of a tree lined path. You really don't feel like you've moved anywhere. I had to keep telling myself to finish. The last 2 miles, a wind tornado kicked in and it began snowing. At this point I just felt plain miserable. Finally-the last turn and I saw the beloved parking lot.

Today wasn't fun, I'll admit that. I do feel like my mental strength was really tested and the mental part of running long distances is tough for me. I get really down on myself at the end because I just want to be FINISHED. The important part is that I did finish and I finished strong, even though I didn't feel the greatest. I pushed through several factors today and I have the chaffed buttcheeks to show for it! It will be interesting to continue running and get my PR in mileage each week. I have to keep remembering that at one time (not so far behind me) 3 miles was my PR, 5 miles was my PR, 9 miles was my PR. I can and I will keep chugging on this journey. I'm not only training my body, I'm training my brain as well.

I told you it was windy....

The Hardest Lesson-REST

So I'll be the first to admit that I am a bit obsessive when it comes to working out. I definitely don't have the strictest diet plan, but I am very strict about my exercise. I felt like a loaf after all of the holiday resting and eating, so since the new year started, I began kicking up my exercise. Obviously I began training for the full marathon, but I also stepped up my other workouts.

Typically on Mondays I work out at 5:30 a.m. lifting weights then do a cycling class in the evening. Tuesday is a 7 mile training run. Wednesday is a weight session at 5:30 a.m. and a recovery run in the evening. Thursday is another 5:30 a.m. weight session and a fun zumba class at 5:30 p.m. Finally Friday brings my last weight training day of the week (typically arms) at 5:30 then I'm in a volleyball league in the evening. I also help some ladies train twice a week after school for a 5K. Saturday mornings are always our long run, then I take Sundays off. People may think this is crazy but I really do LOVE exercise. I don't really see it as a chore. I make the time for it because it has become one of my favorite things in life.

The last week, I felt a lot of stress. I can't really put my finger on why. With most of our weekends lately having had some sort of obligation, I think I was getting worn down. Not that these are bad obligations, they just don't leave a lot of free choice time. I kept ending up falling asleep on weekdays at 8:00 and after our obligations on weekends it would be straight home to the couch. With Tuesday being Valentine's Day, everyone kept talking about the fun things they were going to do that night, and I felt bummed about not getting to spend time with my Valentine because we had a training run. I don't really understand this because we don't really "celebrate" Valentine's Day in any special way. I think I just felt like I needed a night to take off and really enjoy something that we chose to do. When T.J. came home Tuesday night, I was just very overwhelmed and upset. T.J. expressed concern that he thought I was exhausted, so I skipped my training run and we went out to dinner instead. The next day I talked to my trainer and a workout buddy about this and the importance of rest. Rest is so hard for me. I always have irrational thoughts about rest and what it will do to all the progress I've made. It's hard to erase these thoughts and not feel worried about giving yourself some rest when you feel you have so much work to do.

The weekend brought Bridalrama where T.J. was a vendor and I helped with everything. This was not something I hated to do, but again, not a lot of free choice going on and it felt like I worked all weekend after an 11 mile run on Saturday-WAHHHHH no nap time! I was thankful to have my niece's birthday party Saturday night, where we had a great time teaching my dad to play Euchre and eating delicious food. I planned an outing for our friends on Sunday night to Top Golf since I was off today for President's Day. This was just what I needed. It was so much fun and I wasn't on the couch at 10:00 falling asleep. I didn't have any remorse about the beer or food I was consuming. I just wanted to have fun. This morning I stuck to my 5:30 a.m. workout, but came home and went to bed afterwards. When I woke up, I spent some money that I had put aside for this day (I literally saved for an off day, yes.) I bought a new outfit and dress at Old Navy. I bought a fancy, expensive, new water bottle because I was tired of mine leaking all over my shirt. I went out to lunch at one of my favorite places with T.J. Then I got the best massage every at Massage Envy in Newport (go see Amy, she's amazing!!!) I headed to Target after and bought myself the Lemonade CD by Beyonce, which I had my eye on since Spotfiy doesn't have it. Now I'm waiting for T.J. to come home from work early so we can do one more fun thing before my special day ends. So I'm skipping my typical Monday night class and instead going out to enjoy the sunshine!

Anyways, I may have gained weight this week. Who really knows? Who really cares? Okay, I do care, but I'm trying not to. I felt like I really got to press the reset button today and it was an amazing feeling. It had not occurred to me that I could be stressed or overwhelmed by something I absolutely love to do, but my body was tired and begging me to take a break. Usually my mind pushes through that, but this time, it caught up with me. Not every lesson is an easy one, and I'm sure I'll have other hiccups along the way where I'm too tired for my own good. Right now though, I am overly thankful for the last 24 hours and a week where I slowed things down a bit.

New Runner Spotlight

I mentioned before that it was one of my goals to help some others run their first 5K. I wanted to spotlight some of these participants, so first up-Abby. Abby works in our school autism unit and this is the first year we've worked together. I would do the talking, but instead I asked Abby some questions and she answered them for me!

Lauren: What made you want to start running?

Abby: I started running because I needed a lifestyle change. My grandpa recently passed from heart issues and my mom will be having a valve replacement this summer, so getting healthy definitely has a new meaning to me. I wanted to try running because that's always been a huge challenge and something I thought I could never do. I've never been a "runner" or even ran besides being required to in gym class. Once I heard about you wanting to help people run a 5K I knew that was my chance to make a change.

Me: How do you feel now verses when you started?

Abby: Running is easier now than when I first started. I never thought I would make it ten minutes on the first day, but I did. I'll never forget how it felt to actually run a mile for the first time. Having you cheer us on and the support of the girls, knowing we're all trying to accomplish the same goal, is the best feeling. I'm so proud of us and I know I wouldn't be doing this without all of them. I would have given up because that's the easiest thing. Now I know what I'm capable of and it feels pretty damn good to work hard and push myself.

Me: What's the hardest thing about running?

Abby: For me it's the hills. I know it gets easier and I can't wait!

I love that Abby speaks about having accountability. If you've tried getting onto an exercise plan before, try it again with friends. It's much easier having other people to encourage you and to support you changing your lifestyle, especially when they have similar goals. Abby has signed up for the Bockfest 5K! Send her some good vibes for her upcoming race. Great job practicing determination Abby!

Sarah, Abby, and Tina

Be Respectful of Everyone's Journey

When I was doing a regular exercise activity this week, I found myself next to someone that I am not typically around. (I am trying to keep this as ambiguous as possible out of respect, even though I would feel better about blasting her.) Anyways, there was a man who was also exercising and she and I were close by. Conversation transpired and she said "He smells bad. I couldn't stand it. I have to get away from him." This man was a larger man and perhaps not yet the most skilled at the exercise we were working on, but it literally could have been a world class exerciser and this comment STILL would have pissed me off.

Maybe he did smell. I probably smelled this morning after running last night and lifting weights at 5:30 a.m. before showering. This man was out there, trying his best to better himself. God forbid he sweats! I'm not going to lie and say that I've never made comments about other people,and I won't excuse myself, but this comment in particular bothered me because I felt like she was more harsh towards him because he wasn't "fit." I could be completely wrong in thinking that, but I have to question if the same comment would have been made about someone that looked more like her. This post is quickly turning cynical, so let me get to the point....

THE POINT IS if someone is trying, do not cut them down. It's easy to sit at home on your couch and eat potato chips. Some people can even sit at home and eat potato chips and never gain weight! It's hard to get up and exercise, especially when you are self-conscious about your body. In the past, I've been worried people were judging my jiggly butt and belly as I ran across the heavily populated Purple People Bridge. I've felt nervous to lift a light amount of weight in front of extremely muscular men and women. I've been embarrassed when a run or workout didn't go as well as I thought. Now some of those insecurities have dwindled, but I don't know many people who don't have any self doubt. There is no reason to put down somebody who is probably already feeling apprehensive about being out there anyways-a person who is probably already feeling apprehensive about other people judging them!

It's not right for anybody to judge someone's fitness journey because we have never been exactly where they have been. To all of you out there who are taking the risk to make yourself vulnerable and begin a journey for your health, I applaud you. Smelly or not, I appreciate the fact that you are working hard. I know what it's like to want to better yourself. Keep striving for greatness and push away the negativity. You are the ruler of your future and the negativity of others will only take that future away from you if you let it. Oh, and for what it's worth, I think you look damn good.

Run, Selfie, Repeat

So awhile back, I began following a woman known as "Run, Selfie, Repeat" on facebook. The more I saw her post, the more I felt like we had a ton in common.Over the weeks, I've really enjoyed reading what she had to say and I love her confidence and reasoning behind it. She's definitely someone who inspires me and she loves selfies, so there's that! Then on my run today I was thinking about this post and her determination. It was 8 miles in the 15 degree cold, but I finished strong. This week she posted a picture with a caption on Facebook and I have to share her words instead of my own because they resonated with me so much.

She credits Banga Studios for the photo

"Why am I doing this." Honestly, it's a question I've been asking myself more than I'd like to admit these past few weeks. 

I'm not a professional athlete, I'm just a really vulnerable lady who runs for her life. I keep thinking back to how scared I was when I started BQ or Bust. How afraid I was to have to eventually admit that I was too afraid to stick with it because I'm a quitter. The more I go back and watch My BQ or Bust daily vlogs, the more I'm reminded of everything I learned about myself last year.

How no regrets, no excuses changed my life and forced me to stop playing it safe. Or that failure isn't an option if you give 100% of yourself to whatever it is your doing. Life is too short not to pursue the strongest version of yourself. And there isn't a damn thing pretty or picture perfect about that path. It's full of pit falls, grit, doubt, breakthroughs, setbacks, tears and sleepless nights.

Taking risks is what I love to do. Running keeps me moving forward whenever I try to pump the breaks. I'm remembering to trust myself. And to lean into the discomfort again. We all hold ourselves back or listen to the voice in our heads that tells us we're not good enough. F*** that. I want to go to bed every single night knowing that I didn't hold back. That if something horrible happened tomorrow, I gave everything I had to both myself and the people around me. Because life is too short.

Be brave. Be bold. And be vulnerable

As I'm reading this now, it has been exactly what I have been feeling for the last few weeks. Taking a risk like starting this training for a full marathon will test me, and it won't always be pretty. I am pushing myself to my limits right now, which is exactly what I thought I was doing this time last year. This year provides a whole new set of challenges. I'm doing something harder, I'm doing something different, I'm working harder than I ever have to be the best version of myself. I hope next year I look back at this challenge and can again be proud of my past, but taking risks to move forward.

Your time is now. Excuses are easy. You owe it to yourself to push the voice aside in your head and give it everything you've got.

"Life is too short not to pursue the strongest version of yourself."

Run, Selfie, Repeat

Some Food I Ate This Week

So I said I would share some recipes and throughout the week I've also been taking photos of some of the things I've eaten. First up, early mornings:

The first picture is a Quest bar. I wake up at 5:00 a.m. and hit the snooze several times while still trying to make it to my 5:30 workout. Since I don't want to go on an empty stomach, I usually grab a Quest bar and eat it in the car. My favorite are double chocolate and chocolate chip cookie dough. My husband cooks breakfast for me a lot right before I leave for work, which is typically what you see above-an egg over easy on a light whole wheat English muffin. If the yolk doesn't run everywhere, it was an unsuccessful morning. On weekends after a long run, I usually have this with turkey bacon and cheese. Oh and by the way, I get happier by the time I'm actually working out!

Lunchy Lunch:

This is pretty typical for me. I meal plan these out on Sunday. I steam the broccoli and just put a little salt on it. The chicken is always seasoned with Colonel De's Seasonings. This is their pork and poultry rub. We also use Old Smoky Bourbon Trail. I try to do half and half every week so it tastes differently. Find a Location

 If I don't end up having time to make chicken I get the Boar's Head low sodium turkey breast with avocado and Triscuits. I usually end up having a side of fruit as well. 

Snacks:

First off, I get into fruit obsessions and right now it's oranges so I've been consuming a lot of oranges. I like the Sargento Balanced Breaks packs because they are so easy to grab if I am running in between classes. This is my favorite one and it has white cheddar cheese cubes, almonds, and dried cranberries. They are delicious! Fresh Thyme has fresh honey roasted peanut butter and it's my favorite peanut butter in all the land. For a snack I typically will eat this on a rice cake. If I feel like  I need more protein, I will mix it with some lowfat Greek Yogurt and then spread it on a rice cake. It's good topped with a banana as well. I did learn that the organic rice cakes don't taste very good and fall apart when you try to spread anything on them. I'll stick with Quaker from now on. 

Dinner Recipes:

Okay, I thought I would just share recipes that we use regularly. Skinnytaste is my favorite website to get recipes from. She's not afraid to use spices, etc so the food doesn't taste bland. 

My favorite: Korean Beef Rice Bowl

Hearty Soup for a cold night baked potato soup

A way to cook chicken so it's not so boring. chicken and green beans

We probably have turkey tacos once a week. We use ground turkey instead of beef, use the taco spice from Colonel De's. I load mine with pico de gallo from Kroger (or I stop at Chipotle and get theirs,) spicy black beans, and a little bit of cheese. We serve it over rice or cauliflower rice. If you've never tried to make cauliflower rice you should! We replace regular rice with it in a lot of meals and it's so very easy.

Cauliflower Rice

T.J. has an electric smoker that we also have weeknight meals from. He uses the "Dadgum That's Good and Healthy" recipe book. I couldn't find any recipes online though, but we enjoy a pork loin cooked with sweet potatoes. 

What did you eat this week? 

Saturday

Saturday brought another long training run. It was a 9 mile run. I believe I've commented on this before, but I could not believe how easy a 9 mile run was this week compared to what it was in March of 2016. I'm actually going to go back and read my blogpost about the Heart Mini after this. I remember it being insanely hard and I was in utter shock that I ran 9 miles. Yesterday, I just went out and did it like it was no big deal. This is 100% the biggest mark of progress to me. The scale, photos, etc. are good, but doing things that my body physically struggled through before, now with ease, is the best sense of pride I get.

I also had some great conversation with 2 members from my group. I really feel the need to chat on long runs because they can get so redundant. Especially this one, which was at Lunken Airport and it was an out and back 2 times. The course is extremely boring. After feeling disconnected from my old group, it was good to see some new friendships forming. We also discussed travel quite a bit, which I love to talk about and hear stories of where others have  been.

Really flattering pictures of me this time.... lol

In the afternoon, I went to see my friend Megan in a Crossfit tournament that was being held at the gym where I work out. It was a crazy environment and I had no idea it was possible to pack that many people inside of that gym. It was a very odd smell of sweat and chili. I'm not sure I understood everything that was going on, but I liked that it was a team based competition. I think a lot of times it's just more fun to work with other people than to to work by yourself.

This particular challenge looked really fun. I love deadlifting!

Anyways, physical fitness can look so different based on who you are and what you enjoy. I've found that I love lifting weights and running. Others hate both of these things. I'm not sure that Crossfit would be something that interests me, but it interested a lot of people that were there. I don't like doing the treadmill or elliptical, but some people find these machines relaxing. The point is there are so many different ways to make your body healthier. Try different things out and see what you like, but don't give up just because you didn't like something the first time you tried it.

I'm going to post some recipes this week.

A Goal

One of the things I wrote on my vision board for 2017 was that I would help 4 people in running their first 5k. Many people expressed interest via facebook, but then one of my coworkers approached me at school. She said she was very interested and asked when we could start running. She talked another coworker into it, then apparently when they were talking about it at school, two more coworkers wanted in on the action. So far we have run twice after school, both times for 10 minutes. I really love doing it. It's fun to get to be in a position to "coach" people and help them accomplish something that they want to do and that makes them feel good about themselves.

Our target race is Bockfest at the beginning of March. Right now, these four women are getting used to breathing correctly and the ten minutes has been challenging for them. However, I think they are surprising themselves each day and I know they will only continue to grow and get stronger. The best part for me was when one of them finished on our first day and said, "I had no idea I could do that." It's so neat to see someone have that moment.

Running has changed my life drastically. I want people to feel the same confidence that I feel after a great run. I want people to realize the therapy that running can be for the body and mind. While I know that many people hate running and will not run, I'm glad that these four women have signed on for the challenge. If they give me permission, I hope to post more about them in the future.

Wish Sarah, Susan, Tina, and Abby luck!

A New Training Season in Full Swing

I've only done 2 previous training seasons, but this has to be the worst start weather-wise that I can remember. Our first run brought rain. Our first long run brought temperatures between 2 and 5 degrees. Our second Tuesday brought fierce winds and for the last mile, downpours, and this Saturday brought MORE rain. The Cincinnati weather has been so unusual. We keep getting down into freezing temperatures but quickly coming back out of them into 60 degree temperatures with so much rain that it's like April. The rain has been hard because I don't like running when it's raining so it's hard to get motivated to get out there on "off" days. Not only this, but the constant grey skies have been taxing on my mood. Even cold weather is better if there's a little sunshine.

This Saturday I tried out a new product that I got for Christmas. It's a hand water bottle. I've suffered from dehydration from some long runs and races. The water stops just aren't always enough. I had a hydration belt, but it flopped up and down frequently which sometimes made it uncomfortable to run. Many of my running partners have a hand water bottle, so I thought I would try one out. This is the one my mom bought me.

PROS: It's easy to carry and holds quite a bit of water. It also has pouch for your phone and there's enough space to put some nutrition in there as well. The clear front allows you to use the functions of your phone, even when it is in the pouch. There is a strap on the back for adjusting how tight or loose it is on your hand.  It will stay on your hand even if you completely open your hand, so you aren't having to constantly grip it.

CONS: My wrist started to cramp up a little bit and I ended up having to switch hands. You just squeeze the water into your mouth, which is a pro, but sometimes the water would not come out and it was just a puff of air. When it did end up coming out, I got drenched a few times. I think this could be abolished with more practice.

Overall, I liked it better than the belt just because it felt like I had less weighing me down. I hate to carry extra junk with me on a run, but if this could help my hydration situation, especially on warm days, I think it's worth it.

I promised to share some goals from my vision board for 2017. I've been working on writing down 100 things that I want to accomplish in 2017. I won't lie, it has not been the easiest start to year. We've already had multiple car troubles and had someone steal our credit card numbers. The weather has brought a ton of sinus issues for both of us, and I've been on the phone with Anthem several times trying to figure out insurance issues. I've also had some conflicting feelings about the change in presidency, but alas, I will try to keep politics out of this blog. However, looking at my vision board makes me excited for the things that can be possible this year and how I still have plenty of time for good things to happen. I encourage each of you to make one for yourself.

Here's one of my goals: How did I run 1,000 miles in 2017?
So I'm trying to run 1,000 miles. I haven't been off to the best start considering I'm only doing our group runs right now. I hope to push my feelings about weather to the side and get out there. Strength training has been easy to keep up with in a warm gym. I'm going to work to push myself to run more, no matter what the circumstances are.

As it is MLK day, I'll leave you with this....

It's A Cold Day in Cincinnati

First off, I apologize for the pictures not showing up in my last blog post. I was working with limited technology resources, and apparently the Ipad doesn't play well with blogger-it took me forever too! Next, I have to let everyone know that this morning when I woke up it was 5 degrees outside and it also happened to be my first long run of the season, which was 6 miles. Being so cold, it was really hard to get excited about going for a run. As we were running, several people's eyelashes and eyebrows were freezing...like literally. I saw so many icy white faces and I myself had a tear roll down my cheek that froze to my face. That's a first for me.

As you can see, there is snow on the ground, which made it difficult to run. You can see that I have sweat stains around my elbow pits (that's a medical term.) This has never happened to me before, but after I finished I noticed my elbows hurting to. I came to the conclusion that it's because I was so tight trying to keep warm. I was subconsciously trying to keep in as much warmth as possible and apparently that meant clenching my arms, fists, and shoulders. I realized I was even clenching my jaw because when we got back to the store, it was hard for me to talk. Maybe that had to do with my face being numb. I was freaking sore after I finished! Although it was cold, it was possible. Although the last hill where wind was blowing directly on us was miserable, it was possible. Although it took me 3 hours, a hot shower, 2 blankets, slippers and a nap to feel warm again, it was possible. I even made it without any hypothermia or frostbite...I think. I have to say, I even thought about the mileage way less because I was thinking about how cold I was. Could being cold be the key to getting rid of self doubt? Not sure if it's a trade off I will take.

I'm now home with coffee from one of my favorite local spots-Press on Monmouth, and I'm reflecting on why I felt a little sadness this morning. I made the choice to run a full marathon this year because it has been something on my mind since I completed my first Flying Pig. By making this commitment, I had to join a new training team. The friends that I had made were all going out together with the half training group this morning and I was with a new group where I hadn't formed any relationships. I had such an amazing and encouraging group before so I feel like it will be hard to top. I got to know each of them individually and felt like they really got to know who I was, and hopefully appreciated my loud mouth self being on their team as well. Beyond that, it was hard to look around and feel like all the people my age were running with much faster pace groups (including my friend, Liz.) I know this shouldn't bother me because it's like I'm doing a flipping marathon for God's sake, but sometimes we can't help the thoughts that sneak into our heads! I'm trying to keep an open mind moving forward and be positive because I know that's the only way to move forward, but I know will continue to miss my old friends and how much I loved running with them.

Today was 6 miles in the books, a very small mileage amount for what I know will be coming up. I know there will be several hardships, but I have to keep my determination. I started this for me and I will finish it for me.

Through the next several weeks, I am hoping to incorporate some video blogs. I'm calling on T.J. to help me get this up and going because I think it would be interesting. I also made a vision board for the year so I'll share those goals with you.

Until next time!