Sunday, April 30, 2017

One Week Till Race Day

There's a lot of excitement building around The Flying Pig Marathon and rightfully so. It's such a fun weekend in Cincinnati with events that celebrate our great city. The Flying Pig is a quirky race with a ton of crowd support and throughout the weekend they have events that really appeal to all ages, ability levels, and interests. I really do get giddy around this time.

However the weight of knowing I'm running a full marathon contributes to some serious terror. I won't let this put a damper on the excitement of the week, but I am nervous. There are times when the thought pops into my mind about what I'm going to endure and my stomach drops. The mind is such a powerful thing and sometimes it's hard to get that in the right place.

I thought I would state some of my goals around the race. I didn't want to do this at first but I felt like I was copping out by not sharing my goals. These are the goals I want to meet and sharing them will help hold me accountable, whether I succeed or not. I want to finish the race between 4:45-5:00 hours. In order to do 4:45 I have to maintain a 10:53 pace. Studies show that marathoners slow down by 20% in the second half of the race, so this is something I'm going to have to consider when starting out. I would also like to complete the race without walking. There is absolutely nothing wrong with walking, and I know that people train to walk or do intervals all the time. I think nothing less of them. For me personally, I have just been training to run the marathon so I want to meet that goal.

Each day as the race approaches, I know I am taking on something that will challenge me mentally and physically. The hardships that I will encounter aren't lost on me. I know that miles 20-26 will be almost unbearable because I have never endured that mileage before and that my body will be close to shutting down by that point. I know that believing in myself will get me far and I hope that I can keep my mental state together, even when pushing through pain, soreness, heat, or whatever I might face. My legs will only hurt so much. My breathing will only get so heavy, my exhaustion level will only get so high. I can persevere. I can endure. I can. I can. I can.

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Confidence

Last week we had a 20 mile run and it was not my best performance. It started out raining, we even got poured on briefly, then the sun came out and it ended up being super hot. The race was the "last long run" and all of the training groups got together for a race supported by water stops and even members of the flying pig staff, which was fun. However, I got in 45 minutes before the cutoff (struggling I might add) and everything was already torn down. This kind of upset me because I think it's rude to tear down before runners finish, especially when we didn't even get to the cutoff time. I only got a bottle of water because our running group snagged a case before the sponsors left. So after last week's race, I felt slightly discouraged and especially slow since I felt like I was coming in last place.

Today we had a 15 mile run. I started out pretty quickly with a sub 11 minute mile. I knew the route was going to be hilly and we ran up Gilbert, which is the largest hill in the marathon. I wanted to really nail this route because I knew it would be a part of the race where I might struggle. I found myself staying away from the negative thoughts and staying calm and controlled while doing the course. Even when I came to another hill, I pushed the negative thoughts away and just tried to stay confident. It really worked! Even other runners from my group were complimenting me, which only increased my confidence. It's like sometimes you need people to pat you on the back because you can't possibly believe that you are killing it.

I think that confidence is a weird sort of thing because staying in that mindset can really propel you forward. Not having confidence can really propel you backwards. There's always a chance that something bad can happen on race day but if I focus on that, it's only going to weigh me down. Having a good run today really helped my confidence and I hope that I can stay this confident for race day. We have one more Saturday run, which will be 10 miles and I hope that it goes well for me so I can continue to feel like I can be successful in a marathon. It's getting so close to race day that my anxieties are continuing to rise and are getting harder to shut out. If I can rest assured in anything, it's that this has been a wonderful journey. Every run, good or bad has led me to the spot that I'm in now and it's a place where I never thought I would be. While I've always heard the journey is the reward, and while I believe that's true, a shiny gold medal would be nice!


Went into a liquor store today and someone was selling these shirts. It was a sign!

Monday, April 10, 2017

Body Image

I've accomplished some pretty cool milestones since my last post. 16 miles and 18 miles both flew by and surprisingly went better than I thought. I'm nervous about an upcoming 20 miler this weekend, but still looking forward to it. Alas, this is not what I want to talk about today. My topic is a little more serious-body image.

I went to the beach this week and to other people's surprise, and honestly to my own, I posted pictures of myself in a bathing suit. Showing any skin for me is usually completely uncomfortable, but this year I felt mildly confident in my bathing suit. I also wanted to make up for the photos that had been posted 2 years ago (against my will) of me on the beach. Being able to take a picture of myself in a bathing suit and feel comfortable enough to put that online is weird for me, but I do feel like my body is something that I've worked hard on and something I need to take more pride in. So why is it so hard to take pride in my body?
2017

2015


I've thought about this post for a long time because somewhere in time the words "fit" and "skinny" became synonyms and I'm just tired of feeling like I'm not fit enough or like people don't see me as fit because I'm not thin. When I tell people about my physical activity or my goals with running or lifting weights, people act surprised. I could be making this all up in my head but I feel like people are thinking, "Can she really do that? She doesn't look like she's in shape." I'm tired of this stereotype and I'm also tired of how this stereotype makes me see myself. I came home and shamed myself for eating ice cream on vacation and drinking so much. Why didn't I praise myself for running 14 miles and biking 7 miles while on vacation? I have to work on how I see myself, This is something I definitely realize, but I think we also need to work on how society views humans who are in shape. I don't look like a typical runner or weight lifter, but that doesn't automatically mean I don't work hard. I know people who are much thinner than I am, but literally never partake in any physical activity. What's funny is if that person told you tomorrow they were running a marathon, you might not be surprised because in looking at them you assume they are fit. 

I'm a woman who has a BMI at the overweight level, I'm also a woman who has completed 3 half marathons in one year and is working my ass off at training for 26.2. I'm a woman who wears a size 10, and can dead lift 315 pounds. I'm a woman who eats junk food and wakes up at 5:00 four times a week for my first workout of the day. I'm a woman who is running 20 miles this weekend, a woman who has lost 50 pounds, a woman who is goal oriented and works hard to be healthy. 

Fit doesn't look a certain way. Fit can look many ways. We all need to stop shaming ourselves and each other and encourage. Let's focus on what our bodies can do. Let's change our mindsets about what fit has to look like. Let's keep sharing the stories of ourselves and others who are being successful.

Nope, still not skinny,

Lauren