Confidence

Last week we had a 20 mile run and it was not my best performance. It started out raining, we even got poured on briefly, then the sun came out and it ended up being super hot. The race was the "last long run" and all of the training groups got together for a race supported by water stops and even members of the flying pig staff, which was fun. However, I got in 45 minutes before the cutoff (struggling I might add) and everything was already torn down. This kind of upset me because I think it's rude to tear down before runners finish, especially when we didn't even get to the cutoff time. I only got a bottle of water because our running group snagged a case before the sponsors left. So after last week's race, I felt slightly discouraged and especially slow since I felt like I was coming in last place.

Today we had a 15 mile run. I started out pretty quickly with a sub 11 minute mile. I knew the route was going to be hilly and we ran up Gilbert, which is the largest hill in the marathon. I wanted to really nail this route because I knew it would be a part of the race where I might struggle. I found myself staying away from the negative thoughts and staying calm and controlled while doing the course. Even when I came to another hill, I pushed the negative thoughts away and just tried to stay confident. It really worked! Even other runners from my group were complimenting me, which only increased my confidence. It's like sometimes you need people to pat you on the back because you can't possibly believe that you are killing it.

I think that confidence is a weird sort of thing because staying in that mindset can really propel you forward. Not having confidence can really propel you backwards. There's always a chance that something bad can happen on race day but if I focus on that, it's only going to weigh me down. Having a good run today really helped my confidence and I hope that I can stay this confident for race day. We have one more Saturday run, which will be 10 miles and I hope that it goes well for me so I can continue to feel like I can be successful in a marathon. It's getting so close to race day that my anxieties are continuing to rise and are getting harder to shut out. If I can rest assured in anything, it's that this has been a wonderful journey. Every run, good or bad has led me to the spot that I'm in now and it's a place where I never thought I would be. While I've always heard the journey is the reward, and while I believe that's true, a shiny gold medal would be nice!

Went into a liquor store today and someone was selling these shirts. It was a sign!